My apologies for my lack of posts. Work and wedding related stuff have been a bit busy of late and thoughts for the blog haven’t been as forthcoming as I would like.

Having said that though, I do have news of sorts. I have decided to get baptised on the 20th of March. It feels right, what with it being so close to the wedding (or as close to it as I am able to get) and its great that I can start a new life spiritually, as well as with my wife to be.

As for this blog, nothing has changed. I still want to document my spiritual journey within this digital tome, but I want each post to be meaningful and (hopefully) helpful to anyone who stumbles across it. That is why I won’t post for the sake of posting, nor will I post if my mind is not fully tuned in to what God is trying to tell me (which reminds me of what my Pastor said about misinterpreting what God is trying to tell you and interspersing it with your own desires).

Please stick with me here. I believe you have followed me for a reason (whether it is fellowship, interest in my words or maybe because God has told you to do so) and I appreciate you all hanging around.

Have a blessed day.


God and his role in the decisions you make.

Proverbs 3: 5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

I love this verse. I love it because it enables us, with trust that God will direct you, to remove all worries, lay them at His feet and let someone who is perfect deal with them.

In my devotional (A Man after God’s Own Heart, by Jim George), it says that “every major accomplishment requires a high level of commitment”, and I believe that is the same when it comes to faith.

I know full well, that I need to be a lot more committed when it comes to God, but I also know that He knows what my struggles are, and he will help so long as I ask for it and include him in the decision making process.

In the end, God gave us free will to do with as we please, so we have the free will not to include God and not to commit to God by leaving him out, but the risks we run by doing so are too great to do so.

I would like to leave the prayer that was at the end of this devotional, because what it says is true. We need to include God so that we may glorify Him with our actions and bless the lives of those around us

God, I commit my plans to You today. Help me to honour You in all I do. Thank You for guiding me so that my decisions may glorify You and bless the people around me. Amen

Have a blessed day.

God and his role in the decisions you make.


I have made a fairly big decision today. I have decided to remove myself from the internet for an indeterminate amount of time. The reasons for doing so are varied, but the major reason is that is a distracts me from talking to God and from furthering my spiritual journey.

Don’t get me wrong. The internet has been a wonderful resource for me, and through it I have met many wonderful people on here (my future wife being one of those things), but there are also a lot of temptations on here too, and I fully admit to getting side tracked and deflected from what I should be doing (praising God and learning all He has to teach me).

This won’t be a permanent thing, and I fully intend to keep this blog going through my other halfs laptop, because I enjoy it. For anything else though, I will not be around. It will be good for me and for my spiritual growth. I know it.


Have a blessed day


The strength to ask for help.

This is probably the hardest thing I have done to date, especially since I have found my faith. I made allusions, in my last blog, to certain things that I was struggling with that I wanted to keep between me and God. However, events have transpired in such a way that I wanted to share it with you, as an example of how God sometimes needs to lower you down before He can help you.

The thing I was struggling with was self pleasuring. There we go. I said it. Self pleasuring. The time periods between occurrences would vary (sometimes hours, sometimes days, sometimes a week or two) but in the end I would always cave in. Afterwards I would always feel disgusting and unclean, but I told myself I would resist it next time (I never did).

I told my other half about it, how frequent it was and whether pornography was used or not, and after the air had cleared, she said she would help me as best as she could and that she would pray for me. She also gave me some pretty good advice on how to deal with these urges should they occur again (which I have a feeling they will).

I understand why she reacted so angrily to begin with. It’s not nice to hear these sorts of things, but I read somewhere that you must always repent your sins to God (first and foremost) and then to the person you have offended. If I hadn’t told her, then not only would I have been disrespecting both God and her, then it could have blown up into something a lot worse.

In closing, I have heard plenty of good things about this blog and it’s honesty (one commenter even called it “real”). I hope you realize why I am posting this. It’s not to receive a pat on the back for doing the “right thing”, nor am I doing it to show everyone what a good Christian I am. I am doing this so that, several years down the line, I can look back at this post and say “I was weak here, but God put me in this position so he could teach me the value of asking for help and how silly it is to try and go things alone when I don’t have the strength”.

I also hope that someone might stumble upon this who is in the same position as I am, and ask for help themselves. It is never too late to ask for His help.

1 John 4:10

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Have a blessed day.




The strength to ask for help.

Thoughts and stuff – 10/2/2016

So I’m sitting here, with the K-Love radio station in the background and thinking about how my spiritual journey is progressing. There are both good and bad things that I want to chat about.

The good stuff

I guess the first thing is the blog. I am surprised and happy that it seems to have taken off in the way it has done. I thank God that He has enabled me to express myself through this medium, and I thank God that people are reading it. I hope one day (whether I know or not doesn’t matter) that it will touch someone who really needs God with them, and it enables them to go and find God again.

I will also be getting married soon. The only regret I have about it, is that we booked the registry before we found our faith again, so it will be a non-religious ceremony. Offsetting that is the fact that we have a couple of good friends attending who will pray with us afterwards, and we will be getting a blessing from our church when we return from honeymoon, so that is good.

I am also hoping to get baptized before the marriage too. I’m not sure when it will be, but I feel as though it’s something I need. I still need to talk to the Pastor about it, so it’s not happening quite yet, but soon.

The bad stuff

My memory is concerning me. It concerns me because I am forgetting to pray, I am forgetting to read my devotional and I am forgetting to study my Bible and look for inspiration for my posts. I am sure that this is a test, and as with other problems my condition has thrown up, I will overcome it with Gods help, but it’s bringing me down a bit at the moment.

There is also the fact that there are certain parts of my old life that I am finding difficult to leave behind, and the temptation to do these things has been too much for me to overcome. At the moment, I would like to keep these things between me and God.


I am excited for the future, especially now that I have found God again, but I know that I still have things I need to overcome and temptations I still need to fight. I know that God will be with me when these things occur (that is one thing I know I will never forget again).

I thank everyone who has followed me, commented or liked my posts. It is much appreciated.

God bless.



Thoughts and stuff – 10/2/2016

What is Gods grace?

Ephesians 2: 8-9

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves;it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

I have often wondered what Gods grace actually entails. Is it a state of serenity that comes from communion with God? Is it the way we feel when we act with compassion and happiness in His name, doing His work and spreading His word? Or is it something else entirely?

Psalm 84: 11

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold From those who walk uprightly.

This verse suggests it is, at the very least, something that is bestowed upon those who walk with God. It does not suggest what it might be, but it certainly suggests that, whatever it is, it is given freely by God to all those who “walk uprightly”.

A number of verses mention grace being bestowed upon people:

Exodus 33: 17

So the Lord said to Moses, “I will also do this thing that you have spoken; for you have found grace in My sight, and I know you by name.”

Zecharia 12: 10

Let grace be shown to the wicked, Yet he will not learn righteousness; In the land of uprightness he will deal unjustly, And will not behold the majesty of the Lord.

Luke 2: 40

And the Child grew and became strong in spirit, filled with wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him.

None of these however explain what it is. This leads me to believe that it is a combination of things that enable us to be good Christians. Compassion, love, forgiveness, obedience. These things are the closest we can get to knowing the grace of God, and when He chooses to visit these things upon us, it is a truly unique and wonderful feeling.


What is Gods grace?