Creating Altars

It’s been a while since I have been moved to post anything here. I have a feeling that has been because God has wanted me to focus on my personal issues that were preventing me from opening my heart fully to Him.

I feel as though I have made a breakthrough today (although it is up to me to capitalise on it). The sermon at church this week was about building altars. One of the verses that were quoted was this:

Genesis 8: 20-22

Then Noah built an altar to the Lord, and took of every clean animal and of every clean bird, and offered burnt offerings on the altar. And the Lord smelled a soothing aroma. Then the Lord said in His heart, “I will never again curse the ground for man’s sake, although the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth; nor will I again destroy every living thing as I have done. “While the earth remains, Seedtime and harvest, Cold and heat, Winter and summer, And day and night Shall not cease.”

God took the offerings and they pleased him so much that he promised never to destroy life as he had done with the great flood. God also feels the same way when we praise him, whether at church or at home. Our bodies are the altar and our praise is the sacrifice that we offer up to God.

I got on my knees and I prayed and I felt uplifted. It felt wonderful. I felt reconnected to God again. It is now up to me to take that feeling out of Church and spread it throughout my daily routine.

Have a blessed day.

Creating Altars


My apologies for my lack of posts. Work and wedding related stuff have been a bit busy of late and thoughts for the blog haven’t been as forthcoming as I would like.

Having said that though, I do have news of sorts. I have decided to get baptised on the 20th of March. It feels right, what with it being so close to the wedding (or as close to it as I am able to get) and its great that I can start a new life spiritually, as well as with my wife to be.

As for this blog, nothing has changed. I still want to document my spiritual journey within this digital tome, but I want each post to be meaningful and (hopefully) helpful to anyone who stumbles across it. That is why I won’t post for the sake of posting, nor will I post if my mind is not fully tuned in to what God is trying to tell me (which reminds me of what my Pastor said about misinterpreting what God is trying to tell you and interspersing it with your own desires).

Please stick with me here. I believe you have followed me for a reason (whether it is fellowship, interest in my words or maybe because God has told you to do so) and I appreciate you all hanging around.

Have a blessed day.


The strength to ask for help.

This is probably the hardest thing I have done to date, especially since I have found my faith. I made allusions, in my last blog, to certain things that I was struggling with that I wanted to keep between me and God. However, events have transpired in such a way that I wanted to share it with you, as an example of how God sometimes needs to lower you down before He can help you.

The thing I was struggling with was self pleasuring. There we go. I said it. Self pleasuring. The time periods between occurrences would vary (sometimes hours, sometimes days, sometimes a week or two) but in the end I would always cave in. Afterwards I would always feel disgusting and unclean, but I told myself I would resist it next time (I never did).

I told my other half about it, how frequent it was and whether pornography was used or not, and after the air had cleared, she said she would help me as best as she could and that she would pray for me. She also gave me some pretty good advice on how to deal with these urges should they occur again (which I have a feeling they will).

I understand why she reacted so angrily to begin with. It’s not nice to hear these sorts of things, but I read somewhere that you must always repent your sins to God (first and foremost) and then to the person you have offended. If I hadn’t told her, then not only would I have been disrespecting both God and her, then it could have blown up into something a lot worse.

In closing, I have heard plenty of good things about this blog and it’s honesty (one commenter even called it “real”). I hope you realize why I am posting this. It’s not to receive a pat on the back for doing the “right thing”, nor am I doing it to show everyone what a good Christian I am. I am doing this so that, several years down the line, I can look back at this post and say “I was weak here, but God put me in this position so he could teach me the value of asking for help and how silly it is to try and go things alone when I don’t have the strength”.

I also hope that someone might stumble upon this who is in the same position as I am, and ask for help themselves. It is never too late to ask for His help.

1 John 4:10

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Have a blessed day.




The strength to ask for help.

Sadness, and the ability of Gods word to remove sadness and uplift.

Most days I feel contented, when I can pray and glorify the Lord without the burden of a heavy heart. Some days I feel depressed, and I think that I am not good enough and my heart feels like it is made of lead.

It is on those leaden hearted days that I turn to my Bible for words of solace, words that will help me pray for the strength to get through to the next contented day and to keep the devil at bay. It does not disappoint:

Psalms 34:18

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

Psalms 55:22

Cast your burden on the Lord,
And He shall sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.

1 Peter 5: 6-7

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,  casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

At the end of the day, these days of sadness are a test of faith, a test to see if you trust God enough to make things better, to help you through it and to make you a more blessed person as a result. As it is written:

Psalm 18:2

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold

and He will always be, through the bleakest of days as well as the most blessed of them.

Sadness, and the ability of Gods word to remove sadness and uplift.

God is right

Psalm 33: 4-5

For the word of the Lord is right, And all His work is done in truth. He loves righteousness and justice; The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.

This is going to be a short one, as I have had an exhausting day, and I need to catch up on some sleep, but I wanted to share this with you, as it is just what I needed to hear.

Sometimes it can be easy to focus far too much on the negative and ignore the positive in any situation. It is through this incorrect focus, in my experience, that doubts start to creep in and the devil gets his claws into you.

And yet, if we just remember the good things, and remember that God is righteous and truthful and that he loves to see those qualities in us, we can beat the devil and show him, and other doubters, the strength, the love and the wisdom of God and the fact that he will forgive anyone who lets Him into their hearts, no matter how grim their past life has been.

After all, He welcomed me back with open arms and forgiveness 🙂

Have a blessed day folks, and remember, the word of the Lord is right!



God is right

If I am an “evil sheep”, because I choose God, then I am an “evil sheep” and will be one to the end of my days.

An odd choice of title, you might say, but as this post goes on, it might make a bit more sense.

As with anyone on this site, who chooses to follow me or to take the time to like or comment on one of my posts, I will take the time to have a look at your profile, just to see what sort of person has chosen to take an interest in my writings and what you are interested in talking about.

This person, who had decided to like one of my posts, clearly did not like Christianity or Christians, as was evident in a fair few of his own posts (some parts of which I will share with you below:)

But this seems to be a problem for many white nazi type christians who believe in lies all there lives and seem more comfortable with this than the truth! White so-called Christians, you are mostly just psychotics!


As has always been the case, sheep are trusting and accepting all the while being fleeced leading ultimately to their pre-planned slaughter. This is the core of the Christian Faith, sacrifice.


The bible was the product of marketing by the leaderships of the church to create not truth, but a product that they could use to exploit there political and economic objectives with! This is the unmarketable truth of the “Bible!”

At this point, I was ready to close the blog (and my laptop) and pray for him, but my head was turned by a post entitled “How evil is Christianity” and, after reading it, I decided that I could not remain silent and contacted him.

I thanked him for liking my post and asked him why he had such an apparent dislike for Christianity when not only were Christians being persecuted in Iraq and Syria, but that evil itself was a human trait.

This was the response I got:

I have a bugabear with being a stickler for truth and christians and jews do not! The facts are that the original texts for the new and old testaments still exist and when compared to the actual bible, the bible comes across as being a fiction and a fraud.
As far as Islam and Buddhism are concerned, they are not concerned with god, but with how to live in society and spirituality. Anyone using the bible to make a case for christianity is both a sheep and mindless!
As far as evil atrocities are concerned the US, a country run by white christian male capitalists, is responsible for over 40 million murders since WW2!
2.7 million murders were committed in Iraq alone over a lie about weapons of mass destruction. “We know you have them, we gave them to you!” Christianity and Judaism are EVIL, and so are you as a SHEEP!

At first I was angry and wanted to rebuke him angrily. That feeling was then replaced by an overwhelming sense of sadness, not because my beliefs had been shaken, but because he could not feel the joy I have felt, nor the happiness He has brought me. I told him that I would pray for him and that I hoped Gods light would shine on him, which was met with this response:

Apparently you speak for me and for God! This implies you are some kind of authority! It’s a shame your lips keep flapping garbage while your brain is in rewind!

I have never claimed to speak for God or for anyone. I tried to empathise him because I saw my old self in those comments, and if I came across as condescending or arrogant, that certainly was not my intention. I simply want to spread the happiness that He brings me. I also did not seek this person out to argue with, as I would have done a few years back. He found me and I felt moved to say something.

I hope that one day I have the eloquence and the grace to answer people like this. For now I will pray for them and hope that they let Gods presence into both their hearts and their lives and I will forgive them as God forgave me for my transgressions.

Matthew 6: 14-15

 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.



If I am an “evil sheep”, because I choose God, then I am an “evil sheep” and will be one to the end of my days.

Dyspraxia and how God has used it to make me better.


I have decided to take a different approach with this blog and talk about a condition that has shaped my life and will continue to do so for as long as I am alive.

My condition (as far as anyone has been able to work out) is neurological in nature and affects my memory, balance, hand-eye co-ordination, my ability to write, my thought processes and possibly other things too. For a disorder that is fairly common, it is not a well known thing, and that is reflected in how people have treated me because of it.

I have had teachers call me lazy and stupid and say that I would never even make it through school, let alone get to university and get a degree. I have seen them refuse to accept the fact that this condition is very real, and has a very real effect on me and how I learn. All of this, and other things as well, drove me to depression and to a point where solvent abuse seemed my only escape.

It was at this point that I believe God decided to help me. He moved through my parents and got me the help I needed. He spoke through them and told me not to give up with school. He gave me the strength to prove people wrong and to get through my A-Levels and to get to the university that I wanted to go to and do the course that I had set my heart on. He also gave me the grace to forgive my detractors/

Psalm 59:16

But I will sing of Your power; Yes, I will sing aloud of Your mercy in the morning; For You have been my defense And refuge in the day of my trouble.

John 16:33

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.

We all have our trials to bear, whether physical, mental or otherwise. God will always be with you through your problems, and he will always provide help if you ask for it. The fact that I can sit here typing this with a degree under my belt, the love of the Almighty in my heart and the realisation that my problems have strengthened me and made me into a better person is testament to this.

May the blessings of the Almighty be with you today and all days.


Dyspraxia and how God has used it to make me better.